There is no pillow so soft as a clear conscience. ~French Proverb

Today's Joy: Clearing the Air & Honoring Someone Else.
Made a phone call tonite, Reader, to say a few things that needed to be said. Took ownership of a few of my mistakes and offered forgiveness for someone else's. Not exactly what I thought I'd be doing tonight when I woke up this morning. But God works in wonderfully unpredictable ways and you can't ever tell when he's gonna drop something heavy enough on your heart that you just know those words need to be delivered now. Following His direction means taking a risk and stepping out in what you believe. Still, I'm glad I listened and said my piece.

I know God will use this experience in the lives around me as well as my own to teach lessons that will prepare us for what's to come. He has already blessed me so incredibly! I can't imagine what He has in store next and can't wait to find out!

When He puts a directive like that on your heart, Reader, take that leap. Do what you know deep down is the right thing--that which will work healing in another's life as well as your own. In honoring them, you are honoring God too.

Today's Joy: A Well-timed Message.
Happy Wednesday evening, Reader. Hope this week has been a positive one. I just got home from the first field trip of my new women's group thru Christ Community Church. We ventured afar to Willowcreek, a mega church in South Barrington, IL, to hear renowned Christian speaker, Rob Bell.

It was a big night of firsts. First ladies' field trip. My first visit to Willowcreek. First time I'd seen (or heard of) Rob Bell. All told, it was a great experience. Fun to spend some time with my fellow group members. And, while his delivery and habit of using live visual aids was a bit unorthodox, I found Rob Bell's sermon quite engaging.

One of the first ideas he put forth to the gianormous and eager congregation was the concept that familiarity--the kind where you know something so well, you can recite it in your sleep--can rob an idea of its vitality. For example, you know a verse or thought or song lyric so well that it no longer carries any real meaning when you hear it. It's a fascinating idea and one I've entertained more than once. I'm reminded of this phenomenon whenever I hear a song now that I loved as a teenager and played over and over endlessly. Hearing it fresh again, after so many years, makes me remember why I loved it in the first place.

Rob used this concept as a spring board to re-examine what Jesus meant in the Bible when he admonishes his followers to "turn the other cheek". To my great relief, he explained that this doesn't mean adopting a doormat-style passivity when others do you wrong. That kind of passive response only makes us feel powerless, angry and, eventually, leads to despair. After an amusing 3-D history lesson on the customs of fair fighting in Jesus' time, Rob instead showed how turning the other cheek was a way of taking the first blow and then re-directing the power of the situation by standing as an equal rather than a victim. (Email me if you want to get into the nitty gritty of this idea.)

Rob also used the examples of giving the shirt off your back when someone takes your coat & walking two miles with a heavy burden when someone tells you that you must walk one. In 1st century culture, taking off your shirt (nakedness) was a social no-no, but the faux pas was on the viewer, or the person who instigated the nakedness, rather than on the person who actually disrobed. The second example involved an old Roman law where people conquered by the empire (and who wasn't in those days?) had to carry a Roman soldier's burden for a mile if he so asked. But, the soldiers were forbidden to make people carry their packs for more than one mile. In both cases, according to Rob, by taking the intended humiliations one step further, Jesus was advocating that people respond to dehumanizing behaviors with behavior that creates a situation where their tormentors find themselves doing things that are socially reprehensible and illegal. It's genius, really.

What a great way to not be passive and full of self-loathing while, at the same time, not giving in to rage and striking out for revenge (which just continues to escalate and never solves anything). Instead, you choose an unorthodox, creative behavior that changes the balance of power and does not rob you of your human dignity. Rob called this "Third Way Thinking".

It blew me away. Can't tell you how many times I've bit my lip and been enraged while in some sticky, uncomfortable, humiliating and sometimes even dehumanizing situation. What a blessing to now have this new option that allows me to protect my heart.

The last point Rob Bell touched on tonight was forgiveness. He's right, forgiveness does stop the circulation of revenge and wrong behavior. But I was relieved to hear him acknowledge that forgiveness also does not condone a hurtful action. It doesn't forget that the trauma took place. Though, it is a different issue than justice. (Chew on that one and let me know what you think.)

Rob said,"Sometimes, forgiveness is allowing someone to feel the consequences of their actions." (Another biggie for you to mull over.)

So, in using your third way thinking to turn the tables in a bad situation, you are still giving the other person an opportunity to realize what they are doing and change their behavior. In doing so, you honor them. What a fascinating idea.

Would love to hear what you think, Reader. If you're so inclined, check out Rob Bell. Idea-junkies will love his wonderfully practical (secretly cerebral) and very funny style.